


Feeling The Wind

by anocrazyadventurer



Category: Original Work
Genre: Adventures, Broken, F/M, Fiction, Ice, Issues, Mental, Mess, Odd, Original work - Freeform, Random - Freeform, Skating, Strangers, Travel, Wind - Freeform, feeling, heartbreaks, messed, mind, naah, raisin, reckless, rizmin, strange, stranger danger, the, up - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2017-04-07
Packaged: 2018-09-14 16:43:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9193922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anocrazyadventurer/pseuds/anocrazyadventurer
Summary: A girl who is a real mess doesn't know what to do next in her life.And when she actually does something, things go downhill from there.And things go a whole lot messier.But chasing dreams can't be that bad - especially if they are childhood dreams.Oh wait.





	1. Deciding

Chapter One : A Strike From The Past

What now?

I asked to myself as I rocked back and forth on the couch in the living room. I stared blankly at the screen of the television in front of me.

I glanced to my phone which was blinking yellow and red. I picked it up and unlocked the screen to see the notification corner blasted with over a thousand messages from my friends.

A certain friend who blocked me contributed in spamming the class' group chat.

I blinked unexcitedly and decided to not read the messages.

I wasn't sure of myself, to be honest.

I wasn't sure of anything, though.

Grabbing the mug of hot chocolate drink, I slowly sipped it as I glanced at the clock. It was still so early. Sighing, I sipped my drink while eyeing the hands of the clock moving.

I was… bored, I guess? Still, wasn't too sure and I cared less.

Cared less? Since when did I start saying that? Maybe this whole ignorance started ever since he decided to ignore me?

Kept on chasing him, demanding for a smile but he just would never come back.

It was all my fault anyway.

I was too much of a mess and I was beyond repair.

I refused his help and was the one who left him first – all that because I was worried that I was burdening him.

In the end, I decided I was being cruel.

In the end of our friendship, I decided that I was a fool.

He left anyway. He didn't even turn back to smile. It hurt a lot, but I think I deserved it.

I don't like myself anyway. Everything I do is a mistake.

That aside, nothing seemed to interest me anymore ever since. During the free time I had after the public exams, I realized that I had a lot of dreams that I used to want to fulfil a lot.

I wanted to see the world, travel all around, meet more people, make others smile, try out new things, singing for people – and skating.

Skating as in ice skating.

I really love ice skating. I have only tried it once and I instantly felt something tugged in my heart.

My ankle sored badly after that first time experience, but I felt a thirst I have never felt before.

I needed to skate again.

But that was a few years ago.

I looked at my phone. It was buzzing really hard. Placing the mug back onto the table, I leaned to the side of the couch and took my phone.

After unlocking the screen, I noticed that that certain friend had been spamming the class' group chat again with the other crazy guys.

Reading from the top, I tried to keep my calm as I read the happy texts he sent to the chat.

Scrolling down the chat, I noticed that someone resent something that I had sent long time ago.

And this time, everyone reacted to it.

Jealousy? Yea, well it's normal to feel that way. But the sudden pang of loneliness finally hit me.

I was alone.

Alone in this unknown future, not knowing what is to unfold in front of me, and no one to tell to my problems anymore for the fear of losing them again.

Locking the phone, I tossed it onto the couch and took a deep breath.

Finishing the drink I had, I got up and headed to the kitchen. My parents were having a deep conversation while drinking tea as they gaze at the rainy day.

Seeing them like that gave an unknown feeling of relief in my heart.

"Arin?" my father called to me, inviting me to sit down with them. I stared at him with a deadpanned expression.

They have a lot of experiences in dealing with life.

Very independent, very reliable and they also have a lot of friends!

Look at them now, happy with the family they have and never have to worry because they have each other.

Such love that everyone would envy.

I want to be like them.

"Can I go out?" they looked at me curiously.

After a long time, I felt my face being lighten up.

I smiled and calmly uttered,

"I just want to travel."


	2. Leaving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love your parents. They love us more than we know they do.

My parents looked at me in awe. I couldn’t decipher what was in their mind then, but I knew it was not necessarily a negative thing.

“Travel to where?” my father cleared his throat as he sipped some more of the tea. Straightening my clothes, I cleared my throat as well before staring straight at them.

“Travel anywhere possible.” 

“Okay then,” raising a brow, I looked at my mother in disbelief. She was…alright with this?  
“Just make sure you’re really ready for whatever’s out there.”

A pang of pain hit me right in the chest. The drizzle of the rain was so comforting.  
“We’ll give you some pocket money later on. Come back right before you’re out of money,” my father sipped his tea some more. Smiling, I bowed in respect and gratefulness towards them.

I turned around and raced towards my room upstairs. Has it been this long? Since I last felt this excited? Was this euphoria?  
The feeling of being able to be free to see the world however I want to. The thought of being able to leave this place…  
And eventually move on from my own pasts….and thoughts, too.

I would be able to see things from a child’s view again. Wonder as I wander, this time with no bounds holding me back. See the world’s beauty as it is without having to worry about others who will judge.

This opportunity, I was determined to seize it the best I could.

Looking at my room, I took my sling bag and cleared it off the unnecessary stuff. Glancing around, I took two notebooks and a few stationeries I was going to need – two erasers, two mechanical pencils, three pens of different colours and pencil leads.

Maybe I can write a song out of all this. 

Singing for people…I don’t know about music, but what’s from your heart is what matters the most right?

From the heart… I wish I could’ve been this confident much sooner - could’ve helped me facing them.  
Sighing, I shook my head. No. I mustn’t be like this. Move on, Arin. Placing my hands on my chest, I breathed in to calm myself. This is the change I need.

“Now some clothes…,” I looked at my little closet. I grabbed my favourite dark blue sweater. I grabbed three shirts and two dark jeans. After folding them I took out the black slacks I had and took out my undergarments.  
I placed them all neatly into my bag and followed by my notebooks. Glancing around, I noticed my charger and power bank. While stuffing them into my bag, my phone buzzed.  
Swiping the screen, my heart stopped for a moment.

'Let’s go out sometime, okay?'

My tears threatened to fall after reading that. It was from my best friend. We barely talked nowadays because I really didn’t wanna bother her much. But then again it would be so lonely to not bother your best friend.  
I thought she was busy doing something else so I never really texted her. My fault…

Shaking my head, I grabbed my own cheek and pulled it forcefully.  
Taking a pocket knife, I stuffed it into the jeans I was currently wearing. Toothbrush, toothpaste, soap, sanitizer, deodorants, tissue, pads… What else? A certain item caught my eyes.  
It was a memo-lucky-charm of my friendship with Lucia. Smiling, I placed it at the side of my bag and zipped it.

“All done, I guess,” looking at the mirror, I frowned at my look.  
A few minutes later, I was wearing one of the jeans earlier, with the dark blue sweater overtopping my light green shirt and a soft maroon silk scarf to complete the look. Satisfied of my own fashion sense, I took my phone and typed a reply to my best friend.  
I am coming to your house right now.

Chuckling, I took my bag and took a last look at my room.  
Smiling sadly, I said silently, “I will frikking miss this place.”  
As I was downstairs, my parents were sitting at the bench near the door. They looked at me, forcing a smile despite the sadness welling up in their eyes. I smiled again, and hugged them wordlessly.  
“Here’s for you,” my father handed me a thick envelope as my mother wiped her tears.

“Don’t lose it, and spend it wisely,” my mother sobbed sadly. I thought she might have regretted saying that she was going to let me go all alone.

Bowing in gratitude, I hugged them again. This time, as tightly as possible.

“Thank you,” I sobbed in our hug, “I will make sure to come back.”

They smiled at me again and then I left.

My phone buzzed again and I laughed so hard reading the reply from Lucia.

'DONTYOUDARE'


	3. Moving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to my best friend.

Chapter 3

The area where I live was pretty quiet today. Not much kids were outside and no adults were hanging around and chit-chatting among themselves.

The rain had long stopped and I could notice puddles everywhere.

I took the short route towards Lucia's house. She kept on sending desperate texts, banning me from going to her house at that moment. Couldn't help but chuckle, really. She seemed pretty panicked too but I won't be long anyway.

Besides, I was planning to travel out of the town.

While I walked, I placed a hand in the pocket where I placed my pocket knife. I traced it all the while walking towards Lucia's place. I kept on thinking about our friendship and the times when it almost broke.

I almost broke it again, and I believe we're starting anew right now. Going out with her sounds nice, but I needed time to tend to my mind.

Needed to get out of here, not to run away but to repair my broken thoughts.

As soon as I arrived at her house, I called her.

It drr-ed for a few seconds until she picked it up,

"Hello?"

Smiling cheekily, I answered. "Hey, I'm right outside of your place."

She sighed frantically over the phone and I just chuckled.

"Sure. I'll open the door."

"Thanks."

It began with a few minutes of awkward silence in her living room. Her parents were working and her siblings were all at school. I sat up straight on her couch as she served me drinks.

It was good ol' coke. I love her.

"Thanks," I said with a small smile. She nodded once and proceeded to sit next to me.

She stared at me and my sling bag for a long minute, and I just sipped the coke calmly.

"So,... why are you here?" she asked. She's really straightforward, I'll give her that. She's sometimes blunt but she's really just so nice. She's a really good friend and I'd hate seeing her cry again. Ever.

Putting my mug down, I leaned on the fluffy couch and sighed out of nerve. Glancing at her, I wondered silently what her reaction would be. "I won't be around for some time."

It felt as if I dropped a bomb.

Lucia frowned for a bit and then sobered.

"Where will you be going?"

Clearing my throat, I replied while glancing at the TV, "I don't know. Just go wander around, I guess."

The TV was airing an old cartoon but I couldn't make out what the name was.

"You're going alone?"

"...yes."

I glanced at her and she was frowning again. Turning to look at her properly, I let out a breathe. "I really wanna go out with you sometime, but right now," I turned back towards the TV, still trying to figure out the name. "Right now, I just wanna be alone."

She sighed at that.

"Does your pa-"

"Yes. They know. And they allowed me. Shocking, I know," chuckling, she just smiled a bit.

I wasn't sure what was in her mind, I really hope she doesn't think of it in a bad way. I mean, I do wanna go out with her, but decisions have been made.

The silence stretched out far longer I suspected it'd be.

We stayed silent for a few minutes, unsure of what to say to each other. I finished my drink and then looked at the clock hung on her wall - it showed three o'clock.

"I will be leaving now," I rose from my seat and fixed my sling bag. I turned towards her and she clearly had mixed feelings over all of this. "Uhm, till someday, I guess."

Reaching out my hand outwards, she stared at it for a moment before shaking it with hers.

"Take care," she murmured - barely audible to my ears. But I heard her.

"Thanks," I grinned and let go our hands.

I walked out of her place and fixed my shoelaces.

Waving at her as she waved back, I shouted, "Let's go to a cake cafe when I come back!"

She smiled with a nod and kept on waving until I turned around and presumed with my walk.

It felt good.  
To spend time with her.  
It really felt so nice.  
I hope I can find a way and become a better friend for her when I come back.

For now, I'll be moving on.

**Author's Note:**

> A piece of my mind.  
> Hope you enjoyed this!


End file.
